I sincerely empathize with your state. Of course, during such a period, the support and involvement of your loved ones are crucial for you. Please refrain from self-diagnosing and treating depression on your own. If you suspect the presence of this condition, it’s important, if possible, to consult a doctor and undergo an examination.
Your condition may be due to various reasons, including physiological ones. Pregnancy and childbirth bring about various changes in the body, necessitating several laboratory and medical tests for a new mother.
Let’s return to the psychological aspect. After childbirth, the family system naturally undergoes restructuring, new roles are designated, and almost all previously familiar areas of life are altered.
It’s normal for a new mother to feel tired and low on energy at times, changing old habits and experiencing a shift in what was once exciting and enjoyable. With the arrival of your baby, your existing spheres of activity have been supplemented by another energy-demanding task—ensuring your baby’s safety. Now, you’re expending a lot of emotional strength, and with little external support, you may understandably feel depleted.
If you don’t replenish your resources, it can lead to physical exhaustion and emotional fatigue. This condition has four stages:
1. In the first stage, you may still be full of energy and take on more than you can handle, successfully tackling defined tasks through determined efforts.
2. In the second stage, accumulated fatigue is more noticeable, and you only manage to “hold on” with thoughts of imminent rest.
3. The third stage sees a peak in fatigue, depletion, increased irritability, and partial distortion/modification of attitudes toward previously significant meanings and values.
4. The fourth stage involves apathy and aggression as key states.
General recommendations to improve your state (in addition to doctor visits):
– Seek the help of a psychologist. It’s entirely normal to ask for help and support when going through a challenging period in your life. In the safe space of counseling, you can quickly analyze your state.
– Seek support from your husband and loved ones. Communicate and stay connected. Yes, he’s on duty, but that doesn’t mean you should now be without his attention and assistance. Because taking care of a child already isolates you so much from social interactions, find ways to remain close to your spouse and those dear to you. Ask for attention, support, care, and involvement. Asking for and expressing your desires and needs is acceptable.
– Seize every opportunity to restore resources. It’s time to remember your favorite activities or find new ones that will rejuvenate you. This can be anything that makes you feel like an autonomous person, not just a mother. For example, exercise, knitting, meeting loved ones, self-care, shopping, walking, scented candles, blogging, or keeping a journal. Bring variety into your life.
– Accept and limit self-criticism. You are already a good mother. It may take some time to fully regain the desired quality and comfort of life, but you have everything you need. Be kind to yourself—sometimes, truly cool things take time to happen.
– Take care of your health. Establish a schedule for rest, meals, and plan your day. Introduce structure into your daily life and connect planning—this will help you better control your own state.
– If there’s an opportunity and a need, delegate. Outsource some of the things you don’t want to do to others. In the case of a particular household, for example, such a task could be tending to a garden.
– Allow yourself to be imperfect. After all, what is this “ideal” in general, and is it possible in real life?
And please, take care of yourself. Every state is not eternal, and you don’t have another you.
