Last Sunday, my husband went to visit his parents and took our son with him. He returned home in a bad mood and asked me if I intentionally turned our child against his own relatives. It turns out our son,, threw a tantrum there. You see, he didn’t want to go to his father’s parents; he wanted to go to my parents instead,” says Maria, 33 years old.
“And what happened next?” “My mother-in-law came out to greet them, and as soon as saw that it wasn’t my mom, he started crying. He began shouting at her, saying she’s not his grandma, and he doesn’t want to play with her. I understand that my husband’s mother feels hurt, but it’s not my fault. 
I haven’t told the child anything. Although my husband and his parents think otherwise!” Maria and her husband live in a mortgaged apartment and are raising their 3-year-old son. She recently returned to work, but her boss allowed her to work remotely. Maria’s mother comes to their house so she can work without distractions because doesn’t attend daycare.
Soon, the grandparents started taking the grandson for overnight stays so the young parents could have some time alone. Sasha has his own toys, clothes, and even a bed at their place. They love him very much, so they organize various activities for him before he arrives. Now the child is eager to be with them rather than his father’s parents. When they say, “We’re going to grandma’s,” he thinks about my mother. There have never been close relations between the daughter-in-law and her husband’s parents. They didn’t approve of their son’s choice from the beginning, so they were always wary of her. The fact that Maria was already married before didn’t help. They considered her “second-rate.”
“Perhaps I shouldn’t have mentioned my first marriage to my son at all. But my husband said we shouldn’t build family relationships on lies. That’s it; that’s all he said. My mother-in-law immediately became tense and protested against the wedding. She even came to the civil ceremony dressed in black and behaved as if she were at a funeral,” sighs Maria. After the birth of their grandson, her mother-in-law distanced herself. Maria didn’t think much about a close relationship with her. They only met during holidays, exchanged polite questions, and then went their separate ways. There was no special closeness between them, but her in-laws didn’t push themselves on her. They liked to maintain neutrality.
“I explained to my son that he has another grandmother and grandfather, his father’s parents. He listened and nodded, but he didn’t ask any questions. Sometimes we visited them, but Sasha never stayed there. But this time, he told his father he only has one grandma. That’s what upset him, even though Maria didn’t intentionally confuse her son. Andrew, my husband, is stressed because his parents also love their grandson. They send their regards, give expensive gifts. He believes that now we should send Sasha to his parents more often to resolve the conflict. But our son doesn’t want to. Especially since it’s the relatives’ fault. They could have at least come once and played with the child instead of sitting at the table. They could have taken him and gone to the park for some rides. Maria’s parents visit Sasha often, which is why he loves them more.
It appears that this situation has caused some confusion and tension between the grandparents and your family. It’s essential to address this issue with sensitivity and open communication. Here are a few suggestions:
1. **Talk to Your Husband:** Have an open and honest conversation with your husband about the situation. Make sure you both understand each other’s perspectives and feelings.
